There will be late-night snack venues located
throughout the Olympic Village in Amsterdam,
the projected host to the 2028 Fall Olympics.
The I.O.C. Foodservices Division have been
hard at work developing menus that will be
implemented during this 28 gra...I mean 28 day
event. This item has been tested and re-tested
and has passed with flying colors. A crisp disc of
Pancetta slices with sliced tomatoes and grated
Parmesan, and then a whole egg cracked over the top
and cooked under a lid until opaque. And oh yeah, a
few leftover potstickers thrown in the pan to re-brown.
All of the 5 basic food groups: Pork, Pork, Tomatoes,
Cheese, and Eggs. And Dumpling Wrappers too.
I would classify it as Pan-Itasian.
These venues will be open 24 hours a day,
in anticipation of hordes of hungry athletes. Some
of the disciplines for which to be competed include:
Hacky-Sack, Ultimate Frisbee, Hacky-Fris
(a kind of Biathlon), Horseshoes, Darts (baseball rules),
Quoits (Trenton rules), Wine Tasting, Standard Laser,
Laser Radial, Laser Mini Rig (throwback),
Beer Bong, Beer Pong (impossible tickets),
Flip Cup, Sing-a-long with the Acoustic Guitar
Dude on the Quad, and many more. New to
the games in 2028 will be Quarter Bounce, although
this time it will be considered an exhibition sport
(medals to be awarded in 2033). Stay tuned for updates.
The U.S. Ambassador to the 2028 Amsterdam Olympics.